Quick story

A couple of days ago, I hear a scream from the front yard. Fred (4) is on the ground and Sweetie-Pie-Baby-Girl (<2) is standing over him brandishing a two-foot stick she found in the yard.

Mind you, this is pretty normal.

Anyway, I'm bringing out the trash so we can get ready to go to my nephew's graduation party and I'm feeling a little cheeky, so I grab SPBG (TM), throw her over my shoulder and threaten to throw her into the dumpster (while tickling her the whole way, of course, 'cause that's how we roll). All of a sudden, it's like Lord of the Flies or that scene from Jurassic Park 2 when the little girl is on the beach surrounded by those cute little dinosaurs. I've got boys from three sides of me protecting their little sister, whaling on my legs, slapping, kicking, head-butting. Fred, the aforementioned victim of assault, throws his head back and starts crying, "NOOO!!! I don't have another sister like her!!!!! Don't throw her away!"

Tears are streaming down his face and I realize the joke is over. I put the little Hoolagirl down and crouch down to Fred's level. "Don't worry," I said, "I'd never throw your sister away. I was only joking."

"Oh! [sniff, sniff]. You were only joking? Thank goodness. OK." [sniff]

Meanwhile, Fric (7) and Frac (6) are continuing to practice every kickboxing move they can think of on my back and legs. I spin around and grab Fric, the first kid I can reach. "BUT THIS GUY IS GOING IN HEAD FIRST!"

And Fred throws his fist in the air and screams, "Yeah!"