Quick story

A couple of days ago, I hear a scream from the front yard. Fred (4) is on the ground and Sweetie-Pie-Baby-Girl (<2) is standing over him brandishing a two-foot stick she found in the yard.

Mind you, this is pretty normal.

Anyway, I'm bringing out the trash so we can get ready to go to my nephew's graduation party and I'm feeling a little cheeky, so I grab SPBG (TM), throw her over my shoulder and threaten to throw her into the dumpster (while tickling her the whole way, of course, 'cause that's how we roll). All of a sudden, it's like Lord of the Flies or that scene from Jurassic Park 2 when the little girl is on the beach surrounded by those cute little dinosaurs. I've got boys from three sides of me protecting their little sister, whaling on my legs, slapping, kicking, head-butting. Fred, the aforementioned victim of assault, throws his head back and starts crying, "NOOO!!! I don't have another sister like her!!!!! Don't throw her away!"

Tears are streaming down his face and I realize the joke is over. I put the little Hoolagirl down and crouch down to Fred's level. "Don't worry," I said, "I'd never throw your sister away. I was only joking."

"Oh! [sniff, sniff]. You were only joking? Thank goodness. OK." [sniff]

Meanwhile, Fric (7) and Frac (6) are continuing to practice every kickboxing move they can think of on my back and legs. I spin around and grab Fric, the first kid I can reach. "BUT THIS GUY IS GOING IN HEAD FIRST!"

And Fred throws his fist in the air and screams, "Yeah!"

Snow day itinerary

Some of you may have read about our snow day here. Unfortunately, we did not get to everything on Fric's itinerary, which you can see below. Patty and I woke up to this drawing on the table. (Well, actually, this is the second drawing. Fric graciously redrew it when Sweetie-Pie-Baby-Girl drew, er, scribbled all over the first one.)





















1. Build a snowman as tall as Dad
2. Dig up a T-Rex
3. Make Power Balls
4. Build a full-sized igloo in the yard
5. Drink hot cocoa
6. Make snow ice cream
7. Empty daybed
7a. Our family (note the baby stick figure being held by the mommy stick figure)
7b. Our family all snuggling on the daybed/couchbed...
7c. ...watching a movie.

2, 4, 5, 6, 7 all done.

Pretty good day!

Less of Me

Those of you who read my posts on my blog itself instead of through a feed will notice a new widget in the sidebar. This widget, entitled "Less of Me" will be chronicling my attempt at this year's New Year's Resolution. I need to lose weight. Really. My job is rather sedentary and I don't find the time or money for a gym membership, so I've put on some pounds over the last few years.

I like food. I like cooking. I like being warm and comfortable. Put it together, and you get a guy who's uncomfortable in any weather over 60 degrees, likes elastic waistbands and starts twitching when the fridge has run out of cheese. Not good.

But mostly, I have come to the realization that my weight is now preventing me from being all the father that God calls me to be. I'm too out of shape to do a lot of activities with my boys; I can't chase them around in the yard without wheezing after only a few minutes. A few weeks ago, I played paintball with some friends. After the first couple of rounds, the host looked at me and asked if I was going to have a heart attack. This guy has a flair for the dramatic, so I laughed it off, but what a wake-up.

I want to be here for my kids as they grow up and I want to be able to enjoy them. I can't do that if I'm too tired to do anything but sit down.

Please keep me in your prayers. Temptation lurks. The spirit is willing, but the flabby flesh is weak. Thankfully, I have an accomplice.

Wanna gain ten pounds fast?

...then try this recipe with no one to share them with. Dangerous. You've been warned. Make sure you are not alone when they are done.
Relatives always request that I make these at Christmas and New Year's. But. Only. Then.


Peanut butter cups.
base:
2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1 lb confectioners sugar
18 oz creamy peanut butter
1/2 lb butter (2 sticks)

topping:
12 oz. chocolate chips
4 tablespoons butter (1/2 stick)
corn syrup (just a little to thin chocolate out)
optional: candy wax, 1/3-1/2 bar to solidify chocolate
optional: 1/4 cup coffee grounds

Melt 2 sticks butter and mix with graham cracker crumbs, sugar and peanut butter. It will form a moist, shiny dough. If it's drippy or crumbly, add more peanut butter or sugar. Pat into a 10 x 15 pan, about 1/2" thick all around.

Over low flame, melt chocolate and 1/2 stick butter. Optional: melt candy wax over a double boiler and add to chocoloate. Add corn syrup and coffee grounds. Pour over peanut butter base and chill.

Hint: I put the pan in the fridge, then take it out after 5-10 minutes. I score just a little into the chocolate in 1" squares. Then put back in the fridge until chocolate is hardened. It's easier to cut them the whole way this way.

Unfortunately, there are always stray bits that aren't square, especially around the edges. You can't put these on a plate for display, so they must be eaten immediately. And sometimes I don't cut the squares straight, so some of the pieces are just too small to include, and well, make sure you have people lined up or you won't be eating dinner. For a week.

I guess we know where his priorities lie...

Yesterday morning, Wifey was in the bathroom when I heard a blood-curdling scream. Running to find out what was wrong, expecting to find her in a contorted position beneath the sink, I found her instead flailing her hands about her, running out of the room. In a high-pitched shriek, she promptly informed me that there was a wasp over the toilet. Frac, who will be five next week, overheard this and must have come to the conclusion that it was necessary for us all to evacuate the house, for he immediately ran to the pile of VHS tapes we just acquired from Fr. Tito's rummage sale, and scooped them up, proclaiming loudly, "I'll save the movies!"

It's a good thing his baby sister has learned to walk for herself.

With two girls plus Mom...

...the three boys and I will be outnumbered.

And if this one



















turns out half as cute as this one

























I'm toast.

I never met a cheeky imp...

...that I didn't love.

Happy 3rd Birthday!

There's a new sherrif in town...

We were at the house of a family this weekend with which we are very close friends, as are our children, who are about the same age. We were having a great time, the adults inside kabitzing, making dinner, oogling over the baby, when the inevitable happened. You know.

One of the kids came in crying with the extra sound of injustice in his voice. Our friend's son, we'll call him Thomas, claimed that his sister, we'll call her Sandra, and my oldest son, here known as Fric, hit him and knocked him to the ground. Oh, boy, here we go.

Thomas' dad, mom and I summoned all the appropriate witnesses to the bailiff's quarters (the porch) and commenced the interrogations in the judge's chambers.

One by one the involved parties were questioned, with Thomas' story distinctly different from Sandra's and Fric's, neither of whom had a moment together to corroborate their stories. To get to the point, Thomas started by hitting Sandra with (I believe) a wiffle ball bat when she retreived the frisbee before he did. And what did my son do? Why, he knocked Thomas over by hitting him in the chest, because, hey!, you don't. hit. girls.

That's my boy.

Family reunion

Pepere et Memere (Philias and Yvonne, circa 1930?)

Toute la famille (circa 1950)

All the brothers and sisters, same order, 2009

...and with their spouses

Many (though not all) of the first cousins

The family with the best T-shirts there

Many of the second- (or third-) cousins

Memere's sister Diana (oldest relative) with my sweetie-pie baby-girl (youngest)

A short but great vacation

Last month the family and I went to Canada for my dad's side's family reunion. (I'll post that separately.) We made a mini-vacation out of it and spent some time in Maine visiting my best friend since childhood who moved up to Middletown, County Nowhere some years back. Here are some pics:After about six hours, we're all sick of being in the van, especially when baby-girl starts crying.

After a sumptuous dinner at the TGIChiliRubySteakhouse, Fric, Frac and Fred pile into their PJ's and the backseat cinema showing of Shrek on the teeny-tiny screen.

Mom and the boys on the bridge over Bad Little Falls.
(Note the vice-grip she has on two hands at once!)

Some of Bad Little Falls

Goofballs

Somebody has a great sense of humor.

My friend lives pretty close to Lubec, home of the West Quoddy Head Lighthouse, at the easternmost point in the U.S.
By the way, the clapper on that bell is still attached. And it is LOUD.

Oh, big surprise, it was foggy. Visibility was about fifty feet over the water.

Our host and Fred.

Yes, it was July.

At the crossing of Calais, ME/St. Stephen, NB.
Don't let the name fool you.

I want one.

Jasper Beach is one of the two places in the world with a smooth stone-only beach.
(And in case you're wondering, yeah, we came home with about fifty pounds of rocks.)

Um, why are you taking my picture? The water's that way.

My sweetie-pie baby-girl.

Quick story: We realized on the way home that Frac's stuffed puppy dog (which goes with him everywhere) went missing. After looking everywhere in the van and at my friend's house, we decided to go back to the seafood shack we had eaten at on the way up a few days before. I asked the guy at the counter if he had seen it. No, being a dog lover he would have remembered a stuffed dog. Oh, well, thanks anyway. Then Fric peeks behind the giant ice cream cone and finds the puppy dog where Frac had tucked him away four days earlier!

Gather 'round children and I'll tell you a story.

Once upon a time, New England was beseiged by forty days and forty nights of rain. (OK, only 30, but June was a complete washout--pun completely intended!) Children, cooped up inside, their faces bleached from lack of Vitamin D, began to drive their mother crazy. There was much wailing and nashing of teeth. And lo, the heavens opened. The clouds parted and mother threw the children out the door to seek out an olive branch. (They're rare in New England, so they'd be busy for a while.) But along the way, the scout team was distracted- easily done- by the most common of pastimes. The garden hose lay, tempting all passers by.

Let's play a game! (You and I know this won't end well.)


We'll work together.


Ooops, I slipped.


Got you, too!


Curses! I will get him back for his treachery!

Psst, we can gang up on him! You fill my bucket carefully and I'll dump it on him.


Hey! That's not what I asked you to do!

Meanwhile, the angry older brother turns off the water, befuddling the smallest combatant.


The middle child decides to hide and wait this battle out.

Fiend! I repay you the injustice you served upon me! Ground water, a dish served best really, really cold!


Oh, the humanity!